The Thai View on Family and Children
Thais really love and value family. For many Thai women children are a gift to be cherished, and you will see Thai women giving their children hours of close eye contact, along with lots of affection and loving attention.
Children are often raised communally by close relatives and not exclusively by the mother, although Asian culture is generally non-interfering when it comes to parenting styles, and tend not to make comments or blatant judgment about the way other families choose to bring up children, particularly those that are mixed Thai and Western.
Motherhood is also greatly respected, and increases the social standing for a young woman. Children in Thailand are allowed a great deal of freedom, and are given responsibility to make good decisions for themselves from an early age.
Thai society in general has a high degree of patience and tolerance for the behavior of children, and because of this some outsiders may think children are spoiled or misbehaving.
In fact, in the long run, this instills a balance of security and freedom in the child as he or she can both depend on adults but also observe a high level independence when necessary.
Thai people are also fascinated by children who show both Thai and Western physical characteristics. A baby of Thai and Western parents should be ready to receive a great deal of doting attention from everyone they run into!
It’s also considered a little rude to remove the baby from the loving attention of others who are admiring him. Don’t be surprised when strangers ask to hold or cuddle the baby when they are young.
As a parent in Thailand there’s always plenty of help on hand. Strangers are taught to appreciate and adore children, and if you ever need a rest it’s not unusual to trust a friendly neighbor or acquaintance with your child for a few minutes whilst you take a break.
In terms of pre-marital sex, it’s generally seen as unacceptable for couples to engage in intercourse before marriage.
Men and women aren’t allowed to stay overnight together before marriage for this reason. There’s even a saying that goes, “The man wants to be the first for his woman, and the woman wants to be the last for her man.”
In reality, Thai society is facing a small crisis because of the modern media craze of sexuality and sex-related images. Pre-marital sex is no longer absolutely forbidden in many circles, although it’s important in public to behave modestly and to exercise restraint.
Many couples do live together before getting married in order to test out the stability of their relationship.
There are often different social expectations from women than with men. Women are not really supposed to smoke. If a woman does smoke, it’s generally frowned upon and seen as undesirable behavior.
Women are raised to take care of children and finances, but not to be dominant in the public sphere. However, parliament has a goal of increasing the number of women who participate in the upcoming decade. For example from 2003, taking a husband’s last name became no longer mandatory.
Women are working and contributing to household income more than ever, and many men are also opting to assist with chores and housework to ease the burden on their wives. Divorce, however, is still an issue for a Thai woman.
Divorced women can be viewed as “tainted goods” who can often find it difficult to find new love.
It’s really important to realize that marrying in Thailand is marrying into a community of people and friends – most of all family. Although a lot of Thai women elect to rent their own apartments, they are still closely knit to their family circle.
If you are seeing a Thai woman, you should be open and accepting to her family and they will be more than happy to welcome you into their lives.
When meeting the family, keep the cultural traditions in mind but most importantly simply keep good intentions. Thai people are very loving and considerate, and if they see that you want to make a true effort they will embrace you, and share with you whatever they can!
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