Dating in Thailand - DOs and DON'Ts

DOs

1. Dress smart and conservative. Thai women love a conservatively dressed gentleman because it conveys honor and success. Keep aware that for most of its history, Thailand was an agrarian kingdom controlled by a very elite royal family while the rest of the country mostly earned their living as laborers and farmers. 

It is only in the last century that the natural wealth of the country has started to express itself in the living standards of the population. By dressing well, you convey your level of success and power to others. It is not a sign of pretention. Dress smartly to show respect for yourself and the people around you.

2. Smile and be self-assured without arrogance. No matter what your past may be, come to Thailand with an open and grateful heart. Thailand is predominately a Buddhist nation. Thai people live in the present moment. They are no interested in letting baggage from your past or worries about your future taint the quality of your life.

To bring this type of trouble to any relationship is considered bad luck. Thais also believe it brings negativity into the hopeful beginning of a new romance. So smile, be self-confident, and expect good things to happen to you.

3. Talk about your accomplishments and your family. Thais are very interested in longevity and strong family relationships. Your accomplishments help them measure how you have been able to get along in the world and how you plan on getting along in the future. 

Since every one of us has a certain talent and purpose (no matter how diverse that may be) it is always nice to hear others speak well about themselves. Thai people appreciate positivity and tend to see you as you see yourself.

Your family life is also important, because family is an important staple of Thai cultural values.

Talk about your family. Tell them who you are and where you’ve come from in a positive, light-hearted manner. Especially when you get to know someone. Save the heady and deep stuff for later on in the relationship, for now stick to expressing positive things about yourself.

DON'Ts

1. Don’t treat women disrespectfully. Thai women are wrongly perceived as “wanting nothing else but sex and money from Western men.” This is not so!

In reality, this preconceived notion is far from the truth. Two factors have fueled this false stereotype.

1. Even so prostitution has been sort of tolerated in Thailand please don’t mistake this for being widely accepted by the Thai people. Self-respecting Thai women never visit bars, tourist spots, hotels and restaurants to pick up men. Doing so is considered wrong and left to the women who have chosen to prostitute themselves for a mere few dollars.
2. The men who come to Thailand with the sole intention of exchanging sexual favors for money tend to go back home after their trip and further fuel this false stereotype as they boast about their encounters.

Because of a small group of Thai prostitutes and a small group of Western men who believe Thailand is a sexpot for them to do as they please many Westerners have come to believe that all Thai women are promiscuous.

Let’s dispose of this rubbish right here and now.

Thai women are conservative, hard working and extremely well bred. This is why so many genuine relationships between Western men and Thai women are healthy, happy and long lasting.

2. Don’t throw money at her. Another assumption foreigners have is that women date them only for their money. Let’s be straightforward. Money is important. Money is important because it empowers people to have better lives, or nicer lives. Money helps you to support the people you love. 

When a Thai woman dates a Western man, it is because she dreams of a better life for herself and for the people she loves.

Throwing money at her in the short term will not guarantee you long-lasting love. You should always pay for dates and taxi cabs – this is seen as a courtesy from you as a gentleman to a woman, and because her income is likely to be about one tenth of yours.

If you consider giving gifts, they should be small and modest, and offers of money shouldn’t be handed out inappropriately to win her over or warm her to you quickly – you might end up acting offensively.

Don’t stick around for someone you don’t feel entirely at ease with.

As a 40-something you may think it’s OK that in order to find love you can “force” the issue with money. But it’s not OK. You will only set yourself up for a massive disappointment. Long-lasting relationships are formed between partners who feel an immediate, mutual attraction - the best way to describe it is “feeling at ease with each other.” 

If you don’t feel at ease with a woman, try to clear your mind of worries and assumptions, and if the feeling persists, politely move on. There are lots of professional and eligible women to date in Thailand and there is no reason for you to dim your enthusiasm and wasting time on someone with whom you are not moving forward.

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